Everything changes

I don't want to grow up. I want to go back to a time when everyone was happy and healthy and married and faithful and good, or at least it seemed that way to me. I just can't keep up with everything that is going wrong with my family.

My dad will most likely be paralyzed from the neck down in the next 10 years because he has some kind of of degenerative disease that is disintegrating the cartilage in his spine. My little brother was found cutting himself two years ago and is most likely on his way to experimenting with drugs and alcohol at the ripe age of 16. My cousin committed suicide on Christmas Eve three years ago and another cousin is threatening suicide everytime something goes wrong in her life. My mom's brother, who has no short term memory as a result of Lyme's Disease, is getting divorced because his wife of 15yrs is "tired of the burden". When he found out he tried to take an overdose and almost didn't fail. Knowing this, she brought over some boxes of his stuff with three sharp knives hidden down at the bottom. I worry every day about my grandparents as they grow older and more frail. Its only a matter of time. And Arthur's family is dealing with equally difficult things.

The only way I know to handle all these changes is to find a solid rock to cling to and create my own stability with my own family some day.

Please keep my family & Arthur's in your prayers.