not-drunk-enough-to-sleep-but-too-drunk-to-do-anything-but-get-online stage

the first sign that i am wasted is that i start thinking about my ex's. not missing-thinking. just thinking. i wonder what they're doing. if they're happy. i wonder if they think about me. i look up their blogs to see if they've been updated...even though there hasn't been an update in 8 mths. i unblock their screennames to see if their away message reveals anything about their current state of mind...but its always the same thing "i am away from my computer". one is married, the other i haven't heard from in 2 1/2 yrs. and for some reason, when i am in that not-drunk-enough-to-sleep-but-too-drunk-to-do-anything-but-get-online stage, they are what i think of.

like right now.