Atheist?

My almost 17 yr old brother no longer talks to the family. He avoids interacting with us at all costs. If he's not locked away in his dark, messy, room, he is on the computer with his super high-tech sound blocker headphones so you have to practically knock him over the head to get his attention. When he gives it to you though, you're sorry you asked. He responds to everything with sullen apathy and as hard as I try I just don't get him anymore.

He’s been through some rough times. 3 yrs ago my parents noticed long, deep gashes on his arms. He told them it happened during waterpolo practice. Yeah right. I dated a cutter for 1 1/2 yrs and I knew exactly what it was. My mom, a child psychologist, and my dad, a teacher for kids with emotional problems, blamed themselves for not seeing the signs in their own child. They began family therapy, sans me.

My reaction to the situation was one of extreme anger. I hated my brother for doing something so incredibly stupid. My parents told me he was very depressed and that even though he was in therapy it was possible that he would try to kill himself...and succeed. I could not handle that thought AT ALL. I just couldn't get my brain around the idea that my brother was having such serious problems.

On top of the cutting he had behavior problems, was doing very poorly in school, wasn't making friends, fought all the time with my parents, lied constantly and stole anything he wanted. But he has this talent for batting his long eyelashes, flashing his deep blue eyes, smiling, making a joke, shaking his head of big blonde curls and getting out of anything. You look at this kid and think "He's just really a good kid deep down there".

Earlier today I was reading his myspace webpage when I came across the portion where you list your religious affiliation. He listed his as "Atheist". Atheist? What? This, like the first time I realized that he was cutting himself intentionally, shocked me. I am a Christian...devout...I would even venture to say. My faith plays an enormous role in my life. I came by it on my own though. I was raised in a Christian home but I went through a time in my life where I didn't know what I believed. But I don't think I ever went so far as to define myself as an atheist.

If this were a friend of mine, my response would be, "I'm praying for you...but you have every right to believe what you want to believe. You don't have to align yourself with you family just because that is how you were raised." However, this is my little brother. I can't bring myself to feel that open to him. I can't bear the thought that my little brother won't share the eternal life that I believe comes after a physical death.

Right now, I guess I'm in shock. I am so worried about my brother...not just because of this atheist thing but every decision he is making right now seems to lead him down a one-way road. I don't want the decisions he is making now to close doors for him in the future. I want him to learn about life and goodness knows I did my fair share of "learning things the hard way" but as his sister I feel this need to protect him. As angry as I am at him I love him more that I could ever explain and if anything ever happened to him...