revisited

Tuesday, January 25, 2005
i wish i could explain what happened to me this weekend. no, i did not have this huge spiritual break though. i did not have this earth-shattering, mind-blowing moment blindside me with a reality that i have been too stubborn to face. last time, God was impossible to ignore. He spoke to me in such a clear bold voice. this time, He was soft and subtle. it was like getting reacquainted with an old friend years down the road and realizing that you like them more now than you did back then. i sat outside in the dark and looked at the stars and realized that my Father created them and that he was just waiting for me to appreciate this world he made for my enjoyment. i saw Him working in me. i saw everything line up this weekend for me to recieve a peace that i have so desperatly been craving. i read the red letters and saw that it wasn't an empty rulebook but the Lord of all creation speaking directly to me and telling me exactly what i need to keep in mind. it wasn't cryptic at all. in fact, it was quite clear. He has just been waiting for the right moment to put his arms around me and hold me while i cried and let go of my past. no one else in the universe has that power but Him.