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TOP 10 REASONS TO DATE A SPEECH-LANGUAGE PATHOLOGIST:
10. We’ll prove that doing it slow makes it smoother.
9. We can make you scream in all the right ways
8. One hour sessions are our specialty
7. We’ll teach you how to make the “OH” face
6. We know how to get your strongest muscle up
5. We know the value of frequency
4. We love intensity
3. We know how to swallow
2. It’s all about the tongue placement
1. We do it orally!

YOU MIGHT BE A SPEECH-LANGUAGE PATHOLOGIST IF:
10. To impress your friends, you casually drop the words “diadochokinetic rates” at parties.
9. You are the only adult you know who still plays with bubbles on a daily basis and enjoys it.
8. You write your child’s first words phonetically.
7. You get excited about flavored tongue depressors.
6. During informal conversations with friends, you often interject “Good Speech!” or “Nice Talking!”.
5. You take disfluency data during speeches and sermons.
4. Children seem to gravitate to you during social events.
3. Instead of saying to your friends “What a cute baby!”, you say “Does he vocalize in two or three syllables?”.
2. You can recite the Ling 6 sound test backwards.
1. You make casual eye contact with people’s mouths during casual conversations.

TOP TEN REASONS TO BE SPEECH-LANGUAGE PATHOLOGIST:
10. We have ways of making you talk
9. We know what the name of the little thing that hangs in the back of your throat is called
8. SLP is more than just lip service
7. [wilaevtutraenskraib]
6. You’re always analyzing your friend’s speech
5. You think its cool to hear someone swallow
4. Somebody has to help Cindy Brady
3. We like to hear ourselves talk
2. You know how to say “larynx” correctly
1. We can legally brainwash people by making them repeat the same phrase over and over again.