times they are a changing

You are a Social Liberal (66% permissive) and an... Economic Moderate (43% permissive) You are best described as a: Centrist Link: The Politics Test on Ok Cupid Also : The OkCupid Dating Persona Test

living at home

Why my family are lousy roommates...and living at home sucks:
- no cable TV
- wireless sucks, and by the time the signal is sucked up by the 3 other computers in the house I'm better off stealing from the neighbor's unprotected network!
- no privacy
- sharing a bathroom with my 19 yr old brother...just gross
- my mom still thinks of my old bedroom, which has been her office for the last 5 1/2 yrs, as her's
- they eat ALL my food
- close proximity to my mom puts her in close proximity to my business which quickly becomes part of the female family gossip circuit (ex. how ATS and I are, how my job is going, how i did my hair in the morning...etc)
- ATS has to sleep in the guest bedroom when he comes to visit
- they have double standards for my dog and their dog
- my mom still tries to give me chores...like i'm 10 yrs old

Why my family are awesome roommates...and living at home rocks:
- someone cares enough to take care of me when i'm sick
- i don't get lonely
- mom cooks...nuf said!
- save more money so i can buy a car, computer, new wardrobe, etc. sooner
- the cleaning lady cleans my room for me once a week! how cool is that!

i heart '08

reasons why this year is gonna be a good one:
- 5 yrs anniversary with ATS
- no more school/tests/finals/etc.
- working my first real job...
- thus making real money
- buying a new car
- money to travel (DC with ATS, Ireland, New Mexico in the Fall, Alaska)
- ATS is gonna pop the question
- finally being financially independent from the folks
- new president

goals for 2008
- camping more often on the weekend
- being more creative, daily
- making handmade gifts
- learning to love yoga
- R.E.L.A.X.
- reconnecting with old friends (ACV)
- take a photography class
- do agility training with Blitz

possible side effects

Crying really is very cathartic. Is it so satisfying to have such an exaggerated physical expression of inward emotions that can be, at times, impossible to express. My only complaint is that I wish it didn't have so many uncomfortable side effects. My eyelids get swollen and puffy. My eyes stay bloodshot and could rival those of a junkie. My head throbs. And I am left physically and emotionally exausted. Plus, NO ONE looks attractive when they cry!

Its Done

My christmas shopping is done. I just finished wrapping the last gift and putting it under the tree. As I was wrapping it I was thinking about how stupid people get around this time of year. My dad's boss got him a pair of holiday slippers from Kirkland's. They're adorned with red and green tassels, a felt snowman, and a tiny little bell...and they look like they're a women's size 8. My dad is at least a men's size 12. What was she thinking? My dad will offer them to my mom or throw them away. Why do people bother getting other people things just for the sake of getting them something.

I've always hate buying gifts for people because I didn't want to waste my money on something that they will have to pretend to like, then discreetly and politely dispose of (or regift) when I'm not around. I still remember the year I was so excited to give my dad a bird feeder and a bird whistle. He never used it but to collect dust in the garage.

Thus is destined to be the fate of too many gifts this year. But not any I give. Hopefully.

6 days and counting

Today has been good so far. I am slowly recovering from my break-down yesterday. Arthur took me out last night for dinner and drinks. The dinner (Mongolian barbecue) was wonderful. The drinks (Kyoto cocktails) left a lot to be desired. But the highlight of my night was finding organic dark-chocolate covered blueberries at Wal-Mart. Their yummyness made up for the nastyness of those Kyoto cocktails. I also went to the gynecologist today. I will be on Ortho again. I took a 2 1/2 year break from b.c. but I think its time to get back on.

Christmas is in 6 days...and it makes me sick that the consumer in me is stressed about that.

Wasted Time

I will post more in 2007. Hell...why don't I start in 2006?

Hem

I know its been a while...but here are some of my thoughts as of late. First of all...I discovered my new favorite band. Well, I guess it isn't fair to say that I discovered them. Actually, it would be more accurate to say the marketing department at Liberty Mutual did. But anyway...the song on the commercial is called Half Acre.

My Dad

"Celebrate your life and the lives of those precious to you. When you do a thing, great or small, savor the living that allows you to experience it. Think deeply about the important issues in your life, and share your insights with your loved ones. Pass your values on to your own little ones, and you have overcome the limitations of mortality that limit a life span, but never the life. Find your own important truths and live them. It is in that manner that you are most remembered and most influential to those who are going through life with you, or who will someday learn of your life as you are fondly remembered to them by someone who was changed by your influence.
I love you Hilary. I think of you often. I am so very proud of you and how you are building your life. I will stop this note for now. Let's plan to use our time well and talk more often about things great and small.

Dad"

The common denominator is a wiener

Both my ex's (the two that were the most serious) are married. And they both own wiener dogs. Arthur and I own a wiener dog too. How weird is that?

Yesterday

Bryan came over and helped me move all my furniture to the tiled parts of my apartment so my carpets could be cleaned this morning. Then we sat on the floor in my empty room while he tried to convince me to give him a haircut. I told him that if he valued his ears he wouldn't trust me with scissors anywhere near them.

After Bryan left, I packed a small bag and drove to Nikki's. She offered to let me spend the night at her apartment and watch Blitz while I was at work today. When I got there she was finishing a book she had been reading all day while laying out so I took Bella, her dog, and Blitz to the dog park.

I met up with Jenn at the dog park. She was on her cell phone 65.43% of the time we were there talking to a pet adoption agency in Houston about her future golden retriever. She was so excited about her new puppy it was all she could talk about, despite my attempts to engage her in a conversation about the awkwardness of seeing my ex-boyfriend's ex-girlfriend/current best friend at the dog park. After I pried the phone from her ear we sat and talked about ... till it got dark and we were the only ones left at the park.

We returned to Nikki's to watch Gothica, which always makes me think about Rikka and Michael. Three years ago we were at the movie theatre at Barton Creek Mall about to watch whoknowswhat when the preview for Gothica came on. After all the scary images, flashing lights and dramatic music faded the movie title "Gothica" flashed on the screen. While the rest of the theatre sat and silently pondered if it would really be worth seeing, Rikki, in her infinite childlike enthusiasm, yelled, " Got Hika!? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!". A few months later, Michael invited me over to make mac & cheese and rented Gothica. That night we laid on the floor of his new furniture-less condo in with all the lights out and tried to pretend we weren't a little bit freaked out by the dark emptiness behind us. At one point in the movie, as the ominous music was clearly building up to something terrifying, Michael, perfectly timed with the demonface that flashed across the screen, grabbed my shoulders from behind and yelled in my ear...shattering all my attempts to be cool and not scream at a silly scary movie.

Needless to say, last night I already knew all the scary parts and covered my face in time to miss all of them. How very grown up of me!

3 Pictures

Some dumbass is atually feeding deer outside my apartment.

Nikki and I went fishing one night. This is all we caught.

Gauchos and paint don't mix. This is one of my all time top accidental paint spills.

Confused

22 is still so young. I'm beginning to wonder if being in a long-term relationship is holding me back. If the real reason I'm not doing all the things I've dream of is because I don't want to leave him behind...and not that I'm just too scared...like I keep telling myself. Maybe I'm scared of what it means to leave him behind.

Things I lack the motivation to do because I'm not single:
- School: I know I could do better if I didn't insist on keeping my weekends free for him
- L'Abri: I have wanted to go since my freshman year at UT. I had an opportunity to go with Audrey last December, but passed because I wanted to spend my holidays with him.
- El Camino de Santiago: I have wanted to do this since my sophomore year in highschool. When I mention it to him he expresses little interest.
- Spend a summer, a semester or an entire year in another place. I would prefer to be in an English speaking country in Europe, but I would be happy living anywhere but here...just for a while. I don't now because it would just be too hard and too much of a hassle to figure out how to see other while I was gone. Also, he has discouraged me looking into study abroad programs so I'm pretty certain that he's not in favor of anything like this.
- Get in shape: I used to be motivated to stay in shape so the opposite sex would find me attractive. Now I have a long-term boyfriend who seems to care little either way. Also, our choice to not have sex limits how much I care what I look like with no clothes. With no wedding or wedding night in the near future I simply don't care.

I'm not just a hypochondriac

After my initial diagnosis of thyroid cysts over 6 mths ago I went back into the doctor for a checkup. I was complaining of the same symptoms...soreness and tightness in the back of my throat. I have also noticed that I often seem to be tired and sore, have had unexplainable weight gain, am increasingly irritable or down and have VERY abnormal menstrual cycles. Classic signs of hypothyroidism . Or so I thought. In January when I was originally tested my doctor said the blood work came back normal. 7 months later he is telling me that the same blood work shows me as a very good candidate for thyroid hormone-replacement therapy for hypothyroidism. Something doesn't add up.

Anyway, the doctor ordered another ultrasound. Almost 2 weeks later the nurse finally called me with the results:
Nurse: The ultrasound showed that one of the 2 original cysts is gone
Me: Excellent! And the other?
Nurse: The same...but there are multiple new cysts detected. The doctor wants you to begin thyroid meds immediately and is referring you to an endocrinologist.
Me: Oh. Ok. What does that mean?
Nurse: (after a long pause) It means you have multiple new cysts. What do you not understand?
Me: (wondering if there was some way I could physically injure this woman over the phone)...Nevermind. Thank you. Can I have the number to the endocrinologist?

Who knows where this will all end up. Stay tuned...

I got paid $30 to do this

I spent almost all 4hrs I was at work today looking at the Cockeyed.com website.

Some of my favorites:

• The Fandango Costume
• Fire without matches
• How much is inside? Goldschlager, Lipstick, Sharpie, and Mustard

You are a Social Moderate (43% permissive) and an... Economic Liberal (18% permissive) You are best described as a: Democrat Link: The Politics Test

Last night...

I may have gotten highly intoxicated and jumped in a river. By myself. In a white t-shirt and pink bra. While everyone took pictures. Dammit.

It's not in my job description

Tell me where in my job description as "Good Girlfriend" I am required to go to my boyfriend's ex-whateversheis's wedding. Cause I bet you it's not there.

Theres a lack of color here

1. My ex is...married
2. I am listening to...the acoustic version of Fake Frown by Deathcab for Cutie
3. Maybe I should...get dressed...i'm typing this fresh from the shower in a towel
4. I have a lot of people...that know me...but don't really know me
5. My bestfriend...one doesn't come to Texas much :( and the other is about to disappear into the black hole of marriage
6. I don't understand...why I am so blessed
7. I lost...the battle to win the war
8. People say a lot of stuff...that isn't true
10. Love is...real
11. Somewhere, someone is...this is kinda lame
12. I will always...be opinionated
13. Forever seems...to never start soon enough when you know who you want to spend forever with
14. I never want to...boring
15. My mobile phone...about to be traded in. Verizon's 2-every-2 deal rocks my face off!
16. When I wake up in the morning....i usually get a lick in the face from Blitz who has been waiting for me to wake up for a while
17. I get annoyed when...I have to work with stupid people
18. Parties are...not all they're cracked up to be
19. My pet is...BLITZ!
20. Kisses are the best when...they are the period to the end of a really meaningful sentence
21. Today I...got a job! GO ME!
22. Tomorrow I will...go to 6th with Arthur, Megan, Nikki, Zach, etc...
23. I really want...to go to the new Crate & Barrel...so...ciao!

I don't care for the taste

By Arthur's family standards I am a picky eater. I don't eat cucumbers, which is a favorite ingredient in cucumber salad. I hate mayonnaise, which is a staple for every sandwich they make. I rarely drink sodas, which just tastes like carbonated sugar to me. I never drink milk, which is close to blasphemy since they are dairy farmers. And I really REALLY don't like red meat.

At the most recent barbecue I was served a thick, juicy steak that would make most peoples mouths water. I however, proceeded to pick it apart, piece by piece, and ask Arthur at every bite, "Are you sure this part is cooked? It looks kinda pink." To which he would always assure me that it was ok to eat while his family watched with a mixture of humor and disgust. I actually finished the whole steak, which was rare for me since usually at least two-thirds of it ends up on Arthur's plate by the end of the meal. That night however, I was so sick. I'll spare you the details but suffice it to say that I read just about every magazine I owned while I was stuck in the bathroom. For the next 2 days I couldn't eat anything but low-fat organic yogurt and bananas.

I've never had an affinity for red meat. My mother is an amazing cook who made usually made 2-3 homecooked meals a day for my family, which were all consumed together as a family with the tv off and no books at the table. Meat, however, was not her forte. Any meat I ever remember eating growing up was tough, dry, bland and overdone. Which is probably why I initially never cared for it. To make matters worse, 2 yrs ago I took a college biology class, taught by a vegetarian, who's thinly veiled mission in life was to disgust all his students into never eating meat. His method- showing slides of 20-ft bacteria and various microorganisms that were commonly found in meat that was undercooked or diseased and explaining, in great detail, what these "little critters" do to your system. I often left class sick to my stomach.

Thus began this trend for me to slowly, but unconsciously, cut most meat from my diet for the simple reason that it repulsed me. I don't know if getting sick from eating meat is a psychological thing for me now, or if the fact that I hardly ever do makes the meat a shock to my system. Either way consumption of meat is never a pleasurable experience for me...before or after the fact. The only meat I can stomach is chicken or turkey. Which isn't true vegeterianism. So how do I identify my diet?

Pesco/pollo vegetarianism: is a neologism coined to describe certain lifestyles of restricted diet. Most commonly, these include the practice of not eating certain types of meat (most commonly red meat such as beef, pork, lamb) while allowing other meats, such as seafood. There are usually no restrictions on non-flesh animal products such as dairy and eggs.

It may be more accurate to call myself a pollo-vegetarian, or a semi-vegetarian since I've never liked seafood either. "Although many die-hard vegetarians would criticize this terminology saying that it may lead to the public understanding of "vegetarian" becoming further distorted, and claim that vegetarian diners asking for vegetarian meals at many restaurants are actually offered dishes with "only seafood or chicken"... In the absence of a suitable (and well-known) alternative term to describe this dietary requirement many people simply use these terms in order to avoid having to give an unnecessarily long and detailed description of their eating habits every time they wish to avoid being served meat."

Its not an ethical or environmental thing for me. I believe the humans are by nature hunters. Its not really a health thing for me either. I could care less about fish toxins and such.

I simply just don't don't care for the taste.