Its Done

My christmas shopping is done. I just finished wrapping the last gift and putting it under the tree. As I was wrapping it I was thinking about how stupid people get around this time of year. My dad's boss got him a pair of holiday slippers from Kirkland's. They're adorned with red and green tassels, a felt snowman, and a tiny little bell...and they look like they're a women's size 8. My dad is at least a men's size 12. What was she thinking? My dad will offer them to my mom or throw them away. Why do people bother getting other people things just for the sake of getting them something.

I've always hate buying gifts for people because I didn't want to waste my money on something that they will have to pretend to like, then discreetly and politely dispose of (or regift) when I'm not around. I still remember the year I was so excited to give my dad a bird feeder and a bird whistle. He never used it but to collect dust in the garage.

Thus is destined to be the fate of too many gifts this year. But not any I give. Hopefully.

6 days and counting

Today has been good so far. I am slowly recovering from my break-down yesterday. Arthur took me out last night for dinner and drinks. The dinner (Mongolian barbecue) was wonderful. The drinks (Kyoto cocktails) left a lot to be desired. But the highlight of my night was finding organic dark-chocolate covered blueberries at Wal-Mart. Their yummyness made up for the nastyness of those Kyoto cocktails. I also went to the gynecologist today. I will be on Ortho again. I took a 2 1/2 year break from b.c. but I think its time to get back on.

Christmas is in 6 days...and it makes me sick that the consumer in me is stressed about that.

Wasted Time

I will post more in 2007. Hell...why don't I start in 2006?

Hem

I know its been a while...but here are some of my thoughts as of late. First of all...I discovered my new favorite band. Well, I guess it isn't fair to say that I discovered them. Actually, it would be more accurate to say the marketing department at Liberty Mutual did. But anyway...the song on the commercial is called Half Acre.

My Dad

"Celebrate your life and the lives of those precious to you. When you do a thing, great or small, savor the living that allows you to experience it. Think deeply about the important issues in your life, and share your insights with your loved ones. Pass your values on to your own little ones, and you have overcome the limitations of mortality that limit a life span, but never the life. Find your own important truths and live them. It is in that manner that you are most remembered and most influential to those who are going through life with you, or who will someday learn of your life as you are fondly remembered to them by someone who was changed by your influence.
I love you Hilary. I think of you often. I am so very proud of you and how you are building your life. I will stop this note for now. Let's plan to use our time well and talk more often about things great and small.

Dad"

The common denominator is a wiener

Both my ex's (the two that were the most serious) are married. And they both own wiener dogs. Arthur and I own a wiener dog too. How weird is that?

Yesterday

Bryan came over and helped me move all my furniture to the tiled parts of my apartment so my carpets could be cleaned this morning. Then we sat on the floor in my empty room while he tried to convince me to give him a haircut. I told him that if he valued his ears he wouldn't trust me with scissors anywhere near them.

After Bryan left, I packed a small bag and drove to Nikki's. She offered to let me spend the night at her apartment and watch Blitz while I was at work today. When I got there she was finishing a book she had been reading all day while laying out so I took Bella, her dog, and Blitz to the dog park.

I met up with Jenn at the dog park. She was on her cell phone 65.43% of the time we were there talking to a pet adoption agency in Houston about her future golden retriever. She was so excited about her new puppy it was all she could talk about, despite my attempts to engage her in a conversation about the awkwardness of seeing my ex-boyfriend's ex-girlfriend/current best friend at the dog park. After I pried the phone from her ear we sat and talked about ... till it got dark and we were the only ones left at the park.

We returned to Nikki's to watch Gothica, which always makes me think about Rikka and Michael. Three years ago we were at the movie theatre at Barton Creek Mall about to watch whoknowswhat when the preview for Gothica came on. After all the scary images, flashing lights and dramatic music faded the movie title "Gothica" flashed on the screen. While the rest of the theatre sat and silently pondered if it would really be worth seeing, Rikki, in her infinite childlike enthusiasm, yelled, " Got Hika!? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!". A few months later, Michael invited me over to make mac & cheese and rented Gothica. That night we laid on the floor of his new furniture-less condo in with all the lights out and tried to pretend we weren't a little bit freaked out by the dark emptiness behind us. At one point in the movie, as the ominous music was clearly building up to something terrifying, Michael, perfectly timed with the demonface that flashed across the screen, grabbed my shoulders from behind and yelled in my ear...shattering all my attempts to be cool and not scream at a silly scary movie.

Needless to say, last night I already knew all the scary parts and covered my face in time to miss all of them. How very grown up of me!

3 Pictures

Some dumbass is atually feeding deer outside my apartment.

Nikki and I went fishing one night. This is all we caught.

Gauchos and paint don't mix. This is one of my all time top accidental paint spills.

Confused

22 is still so young. I'm beginning to wonder if being in a long-term relationship is holding me back. If the real reason I'm not doing all the things I've dream of is because I don't want to leave him behind...and not that I'm just too scared...like I keep telling myself. Maybe I'm scared of what it means to leave him behind.

Things I lack the motivation to do because I'm not single:
- School: I know I could do better if I didn't insist on keeping my weekends free for him
- L'Abri: I have wanted to go since my freshman year at UT. I had an opportunity to go with Audrey last December, but passed because I wanted to spend my holidays with him.
- El Camino de Santiago: I have wanted to do this since my sophomore year in highschool. When I mention it to him he expresses little interest.
- Spend a summer, a semester or an entire year in another place. I would prefer to be in an English speaking country in Europe, but I would be happy living anywhere but here...just for a while. I don't now because it would just be too hard and too much of a hassle to figure out how to see other while I was gone. Also, he has discouraged me looking into study abroad programs so I'm pretty certain that he's not in favor of anything like this.
- Get in shape: I used to be motivated to stay in shape so the opposite sex would find me attractive. Now I have a long-term boyfriend who seems to care little either way. Also, our choice to not have sex limits how much I care what I look like with no clothes. With no wedding or wedding night in the near future I simply don't care.

I'm not just a hypochondriac

After my initial diagnosis of thyroid cysts over 6 mths ago I went back into the doctor for a checkup. I was complaining of the same symptoms...soreness and tightness in the back of my throat. I have also noticed that I often seem to be tired and sore, have had unexplainable weight gain, am increasingly irritable or down and have VERY abnormal menstrual cycles. Classic signs of hypothyroidism . Or so I thought. In January when I was originally tested my doctor said the blood work came back normal. 7 months later he is telling me that the same blood work shows me as a very good candidate for thyroid hormone-replacement therapy for hypothyroidism. Something doesn't add up.

Anyway, the doctor ordered another ultrasound. Almost 2 weeks later the nurse finally called me with the results:
Nurse: The ultrasound showed that one of the 2 original cysts is gone
Me: Excellent! And the other?
Nurse: The same...but there are multiple new cysts detected. The doctor wants you to begin thyroid meds immediately and is referring you to an endocrinologist.
Me: Oh. Ok. What does that mean?
Nurse: (after a long pause) It means you have multiple new cysts. What do you not understand?
Me: (wondering if there was some way I could physically injure this woman over the phone)...Nevermind. Thank you. Can I have the number to the endocrinologist?

Who knows where this will all end up. Stay tuned...