The Big 2-3

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ARTHUR!!!

I love you so much!

is it already monday?

What a weekend. Friday night was the Sheesha Bar with Katie "McKate" and "By-RAN". Coconut is by far my favorite flavor to date. I came home and looked at hookahs on eBay, but I'm not sure how my roommate will feel about a 3 ft., semi-illegal looking pipe on our balcony. I'll have to get her hooked, or should I say hookah-ed...I am so cool.

Saturday was one of ATS's world-famous barbeques. Two of his best friends from back home came. I call them the "hicks" because they're about the most homegrown, old-fashioned, country boys I've ever met. Eating, drinking, a rowdy game of cut-throat pool, and a round of Texas Hold 'Em (which I won!) ensued. As the party wound down I had an intense political discussion with two guys; one, a recent college graduate and Air Force enlistee, the other, an opinionated conservative. Note to self- alcohol and politics should never mix!

Something that I will put in my "interesting box" (as my mom calls it) occurred that night. As ATS's hick friends were leaving one of them pulled me aside. J, former bullrider, man's man & ladies man, ATS's best friend and future best man pulled me aside and said, "ATS is my best friend and you are a great girl. I just wanted to let you know that if anything ever happens between ya'll I know a lot of guys that would take care of you". I was drunk, but sober enough to respond, "Nothing will happen between us...but thanks". Then, just before he left he shook hands with ATS, turned around to me, gave me a hug and said quietly, "I'd take care of you", walked out the door, turned around, made eye-contact with me and said, "I mean it." and then closed the door behind him. Odd behavior for a guy's best friend. I'll blame it on the alcohol...but only if it never happens again.

This is my last week in San Antonio! I can't wait to get the hell out of my parent's house.

Help Wanted

The time has come. This is technology's bitter payback for me not paying attention in my computer science classes. Something is wrong with my computer and I don't know what or how to fix it. Let me try to explain the problem.

I moved into my new apartment, hooked up my computer to the internet, was bogged down by an obscene amount of casino pop-ups and promptly shut-down my computer. When I booted it back up my administrative account would not load. All that appeared on my desktop was my wallpaper- and that's it. I turn it off and on a few times to no avail. However, I could log onto the Guest account so I figured it can't be too bad. I decide that what I need to do is just totally wipe my harddrive. So, I get a discounted copy of XP from the campus computer store and try to install it. Here's where the real trouble starts.

I was told that if I just insert the XP installation CD and begin to load it, it will give me the option to wipe my harddrive. However, it never got to that point. It went through the entire installation and when it began to load Windows I got a "file corrupted" error. So at this point, as far as I can tell...my computer is in some kind of limbo. My old XP won't work, but my new XP won't load. shit.

I don't know what to do. The advice I am getting from my friends is that I got a virus that has possibly corrupted my harddrive. My only option is to get a new one, which is frustrating because I got a new harddrive only a year and a half ago. But I don't even know if this is sound advice because I don't know jack crap about this kinda stuff. I can't afford a new computer. My budget is about $200-$300 to fix this problem.

Can anyone help???

various pictures

Student Class Schedule

Student Class Schedule:

CDIS 3325- Anatomy & Physiology of Speech
TTh 8-9:15, HSC 214, Dr. Mallard

CDIS 3412- Neuroanatomy of Communication
TTh 9:30-10:45, HSC 231, Dr. Stiritz
LAB
T 4-4:50, HSC 231

CDIS 3459- Phonetics & Phonemics
MWF 9-9:50, HSC 214, Dr. Kosary
LAB
M 1-1:50, HSC 214

PSY 3313- Psychology of Adults and Aging
MWF 10-10:50, PSY 316, Dr. Carpenter

revisited

Tuesday, January 25, 2005
i wish i could explain what happened to me this weekend. no, i did not have this huge spiritual break though. i did not have this earth-shattering, mind-blowing moment blindside me with a reality that i have been too stubborn to face. last time, God was impossible to ignore. He spoke to me in such a clear bold voice. this time, He was soft and subtle. it was like getting reacquainted with an old friend years down the road and realizing that you like them more now than you did back then. i sat outside in the dark and looked at the stars and realized that my Father created them and that he was just waiting for me to appreciate this world he made for my enjoyment. i saw Him working in me. i saw everything line up this weekend for me to recieve a peace that i have so desperatly been craving. i read the red letters and saw that it wasn't an empty rulebook but the Lord of all creation speaking directly to me and telling me exactly what i need to keep in mind. it wasn't cryptic at all. in fact, it was quite clear. He has just been waiting for the right moment to put his arms around me and hold me while i cried and let go of my past. no one else in the universe has that power but Him.

Extended Comment

Athena,

You're not gonna like what i have to say but that's never stopped me in the past. You've thanked me before for helping you to see the other side of a situation and I hope you realize that what I am saying here is objective as possible.

I agree with your aunt's letter on one point; if the stance that you are taking at this time in your life is that you are independent and living your own life, then it is contradictory to those beliefs to ask for a co-sign on a loan. If you are going to take a controversial stand you have to be all the way, you can't just be independent when it suits you. I do not, however, agree with the pressure that they are putting on ya'll to get married. Even if you were still on good terms with your parents it would be none of their business. I think their emotional proximity to the situation makes them feel like they have some right to push you into that decision...Which is on some level, understandable, but still wrong. Just because it would "mean lots to everyone else" does not mean that it would be right for you.

That being said, I have to point out what I see in this situation. You are using your family. You tell them you want to live your own life, a life totally different from what they had hoped for you, you ignore the deep pain that decision has caused, and then you turn around and curse them for not helping you out when you realize than an independent lifestyle is difficult. All this, when by your own admission you want to be totally independent! Wiether or not you agree with why they are upset with you, you still have to acknowledge that they are hurting. I think it is rotten for you to ask them to help you out at this point. And the comment about your family only supporting you when you do what they want...well what did you expect? Did you seriously expect them to take this well? And they can "go fuck themselves"...but only if they co-sign your loan first?

This is going to sound strange...but I applaud you for having your own beliefs, for thinking life through for yourself. Some people go through life never thinking about it any deeper than they were taught to. If getting married to some "loser missionary" just wasn't for you then at least you realized it before it was too late. And yes, there are much worse things you could have done than move in with your boyfriend of eight months. So have all the amazing, gold-bandless sex you want. But don't be upset when your family expresses their disappointment and reluctance to co-sign on a document that aids your chosen lifestyle, because after all, you will live your life as you see fit "without other's approval and without their help".

Athena, be the independent woman you claim to be. Figure out a way to get that loan on your own. And if you can't, then work your ass off and don't spend money on things you don't absolutely need, like $1000 at Ikea. And finally, I think you need respect your family's pain. Give them time and space. And leave your grandparents the hell alone.

little things

i just want him to hold me like he's missed me, like hes been thinking about me all day. i want to hear a smile in his voice when he calls me because of the simply joy of hearing my voice. i want his eyes to catch mine, hold my gaze, and smile because he knows we're both thinking the same thing. i want him to kiss me tenderly, not just hungrily. i want him to walk up behind me, wrap his arms around me, and bury his face in my hair. i want him to take my hand and give it three squeezes. i want him to see a sunset and wish he was sharing it with me. i want him to listen to a love song and see my face. i want him hug me tight and feel him sigh with contentment and happiness because he knows hes holding his whole world in his arms. i want him to take the time and pay attention to these things.

i want the little things babe.

Technology is a good thing

I am addicted to my new Palm Zire!!!

Saturday

Saturday was nothing short of a perfect day. We slept in because we really needed it, then we leisurely got ready and got in his truck. He wouldn't tell me where we were going just that we would probably be gone all day. As we drove into the Hill Country I slid over to sit in the middle next to him and he put his arm around me . Without a break in our conversation, he would push in the clutch and I would shift down for him when we went up a steep hill, so he could leave his right arm around my shoulders.

We drove north on I-10, past Boerne and Welfare, through Fredericksburg and into Doss. I still had no clue where we were going. I watched a thousand green fields fly by, a few longhorns and one llama, a small rainshower and fresh peach stands on the side of the road at least every mile. Finally we turned off at a sign titled Grape Creek Vineyard, as we pull up in the gravel drive and I see the quaint winery. The small wine-tasting room is inviting, with its warm hard-wood floors and walls filled with wine bottles. The room opens up onto a patio shaded in honeysuckle and grape vines.

We walked in, hand in hand, and sampled their sweet summer wines with our favorite being a 2002 Cabernet Blanc. We buy a bottle, I steal a couple of used corks and we jump back in his truck, dizzy from the wine. Not even a half a mile down the road we turn into Torre di Pietra Winery, a beautiful stone winery with miles of grape vines in neat rows that disappear over the horizon. They hand us glass upon glass of wine that is sweet in my mouth but warm inside me. We choose a rich purple wine called Red Flirt, with whimsical flavors of cherries, berries, and plums. Once again, into his truck, with one last look at the infinite rows of grapes.

Our last stop is Becker Vineyards. The tasting room is filled with the smell of lavender, which they grow in addition to grapes, and the sound of jovial laughter. Once again, we sample wines to our hearts content. Some of my favorites; Fume Blanc, Riesling, Muscat Canelli Amabile and Texas Port. The Texas Port, which we agreed was nothing short of the most amazing wine we'd ever tasted, was instantly added to our days collection. He had his heart set on a tour but the winery was busy and it seemed like we had been forgotten.

As we sat and waited patiently we saw a man walk into the back with purpose, I nudged Arthur to ask him about the tour. When he did, the man introduced himself as Richard Becker ( I can only blame the large amounts of wine already in my system for not putting it together sooner that this was in fact the owner of Becker Vinyards). He told us that no he wasn't doing a tour but asked us to come on back and he would give us one. He gave us a glass with an etched logo of Becker vineyards and showed us around. It was amazing. We tasted fresh grape juice, which tastes nothing like store bought grape juice, right out of the cooling vats. He took us to their personal library of wines and he opened a bottle of their award-winning Cabernet Sauvignon and told us about his family and how they started the winery. He took us to a huge room underground stacked high with french oak wine barrels in the process of fermenting. We tried Chardonnays, Merlots and Clarets in various stages of fermenting. They were all amazing and the wine kept flowing. He opened four bottles of Italian seasonal wines and we drank them all. It was becoming harder and harder for me to concentrate on Dr. Becker as he explained the ins-and-outs of wine making, but Arthur kept his arm around me and steadied me. Dr. Becker finished the tour with us, we thanked him profusely and left, giddy with wine and the attention we had just received from a man who had literally hosted Kings and Presidents.

We drove into Fredricksburg just in time to make it to a chocolate shop I remembered from my childhood. We bought two boxes of chocolates that were filled with what else, wine! We stopped by a peach stand by the side of the road on our way out of town as the sun began to set. Then I slid back over to his side and rode home with his strong arms around me.

Let me just say that I really do have the best man in the world!